It’s Not a Good Friday, It’s a Great Friday!

No, it really isn’t, because I have to work. I wish that the sacrifice of our Lord and Savior warranted a day off, but it doesn’t. However, a lot of Good Friday has to do with denial of things so, in honor of the sacred day I will write about all of the wonderful Good Fridays of yesteryear!

I am not very good at denial. I am better at telling things like how they are.

What things are is there is actually not much to say about Good Fridays of yesteryear. In truth, hey weren’t much different than any other Friday, except you couldn’t have cheezburger.

Oh wait! How could I have forgotten??!!11!!

I have been told that back in the day, members of one side of my family were obliged to sit in their rooms for the majority of the day, reading and pondering the Good Book until dinnertime…no, that’s not the thing I forgot. I’m leading into it. Hang on.

Anyway, you’d think there’d be a sigh of relief to be released from that task of squinting at tiny little words for hours on paper thinner than a ladybug’s wing that you’re terrified of tearing everytime you turn a page.

Unfortunately, given the choice, if one were a member of my family, one might rather deign to stay upstairs and slog through a Who-Begat-Who of Prehistoric Society, rather than come down to the dinner table. Why? Mainly, the dish on the menu. Which was: Prunes and Noodles. Yep. Uncooked prunes, with plain noodles.

Which I was subject to because- unlike the Bible study- this tradition somehow managed to stick around through the first 12 years of my life.

I always assumed this was some sort of Catholic tradition. I would casually mention it to my little Catholic friends once I was of school age, in an effort to find comradery in having to eat something icky for dinner and boy does it make you look forward to Easter chocolate even more!

My little school friends were utterly bewildered. This is how I found out that no other families went through this whole routine on Good Friday. In fact, some of them even went out for fish fries.

I stopped talking about Prunes and Noodles pretty soon after that, and chalked it up to being a unique dish whose roots laid in the long-lost cultural traditions of an exotic part of Germany that no one else in my area was also from. It was still icky, but this explanation also made me feel special.

However, as the years have gone by, I became less good at denial and more insanely curious as to whether that comforting assumption was true- that I was special! Or if, alternatively, this was merely a looney-tunes idea that sprung from the befuddled mind of a devout great-great-great-great-great-great grandmother of mine, who no one dared cross, and a curse on them if they didn’t continue it after she was six feet under (“Wenn Großmutter sagt, dass wir Backpflaume und Nudeln essen müssen, müssen wir Backpflaume und Nudeln essen!”).

Or- as I’d like to think (if I truly was just a member of a freakish clan)- that was all that remained in the cupboard, and out of sake of pride, it was tied into the higher ideas of repentance and atonement rather than being attributed to abject poverty. If life gives you lemons, and you have no sugar to make lemonade- eat the lemons anyway and declare it a matter of choice to prove that you are bad-ass enough to pull it off without gagging which makes you a good Catholic or something! Shoot- that’s what I’d do.

Anyway! To try to sort this matter out, I first turned to the summation of all human knowledge (Wikipedia) but unfortunately found very few references to any sort of Good Friday gastronomic fare (other than the fishies, and in England they eat hot cross buns! Why did we not do that one?), much less this peculiar entrée. The real troopers of the Catholic persuasion are prone to fasting. Wish I had know that back in the day!

So I went to Google. And what do you know. Maybe I was right about being from an obscure, out-of-the-way Germanic region that was not on the map with no sign at the entrance, thereby making it noteworthy and highly exclusive (this is how we determine the cool factor of NYC nightspots- therefore the logic makes sense). Because as it turns out, there are apparently a few families of Germanic origin who still manage to get a spoonful or two of this down the gullet once a year, out of a sense of obligation. Some say they like it, but of course they’re either in denial or adding fresh parmesan.

One interesting link I found was a gem of a list on a site for a town in Ohio that included not only a directive to choke down the Prunes and Noodles on Good Friday, but includes a whole host of other old adages and rules for living well. The list must’ve traveled over the ocean from the mysterious German village I came from to Ohio. Anyway, the rationale behind the sayings is somewhat questionable. I’m willing to take a shot in the dark and propose that these rather suspect claims are based in superstition as opposed to any sort of scientific assessments- but they are entertaining nonetheless. Have a look!

However, even though the dreaded family custom is included there, I nonetheless uphold that it is not to be lumped together with salt-over-the-shoulder nonsense. It is about sacrifice! It is about living without luxury!

Or it is about that the obscure, out-of-the-way and therefore noteworthy/highly exclusive Germanic village my ancestors lived in was visited by a shyster of a peddler one day, who sold them on this incredible new-fangled dried fruit called “prunes”, which nobody liked so they sat in the back of cupboards. Unfortunately, one Holy Thursday they took to eating like it was the Last- well, you know- and by the time they all woke up the next day for dinner, they were then in the predicament of being stuck with nothing but the prunes and some leftover noodles, and the food peddling service closed early on Friday nights and it was too dark to fish. So, for the sake of dignity and not looking silly, the villagers had to come up with a damn good reason to be making and eating what was decidedly a less than appetizing dinner. Then had no choice but to roll with the justification each year following, for the sake of retaining the faith of the children.

And for that, I don’t blame them!

But I think now, hundreds of years later, at this point we can just say oopsie-daisy and chalk it up to experience. The stories may live on, but as far as actually practicing the tradition, I think we can safely let that fall by the wayside and still preserve our self-respect. After all, I can’t tell you how many times exclusive venues I’ve gone to have had to 86 a basic item or ran out of food altogether. And they don’t let it get them down.

Alright then, Happy Good Friday where you do nothing really different than you normally would on a Friday unless you are religious and are fasting and church-going and not eating cheezburgers in which case Blessings to You, or work for some place that gives you the day off in which case Screw You. And Happy Easter.

 

Sorry gentlemen, my V-Day plans are officially set in stone now

Need Valentine’s Day plans? Have I got the perfect romantic idea for you!

 A new film called “Burning Passion” tells (what they describe as) the “heartwarming tale” of a man who- wait for it- ejaculates fire.

 Its world premiere screens online on February 14^th.

 My my. What don’t they think of these days.

 Adfreak reports that for whatever reason, the film is advertised exclusively in laundromats (??!!) in large cities, including the Big Apple.

 

So, of course, I must obtain that poster. To put up right next to the one I have advertising Mitchell Lichtenstein’s blockbuster horror flick “Teeth”.

The first person who can track down for me an NYC laundromat featuring this classy ad wins an equally classy 10th anniversary edition chrome flip top lighter, which was a thoughtful gift I received on Valentine’s Day 1999.

My First How-To Video!

I’d heard enough guys confessing to wearing clip on- excuse me- “pre-tied” bow ties, that I felt it was time to do an instructional video.  Sure there’s already quite a few out there.  Also they feature bald, stodgy, paunchy men. So here’s one they’ll actually enjoy watching.

And hopefully learn from.

Yes, I know. I say “self-tie” instead of “self-tying”. You let that one go and I’ll let it go that you went as James Bond for Halloween that one time wearing a “pre-tied” then subbed in a real one when it came time to have the thing hanging ’round your neck so as to achieve that end-of-the-night carelessly sexy look ( in order to attract the attention of the girl in the slutty Leg Avenue outfit). Ok?

IWJS Hearts This Analogy

This is called “The Tomato Analogy”, and no I’m not telling you where I got it from or in what context. It’s not important anyway. What’s important is the awesome message behind it. Read on!

“Look at it like a tomato. There are two ways to get em. Go to the store and buy em, or grow them in your own garden. What’s the difference? Oh I can’t wait to share this…

If you buy a tomato at the grocery store, you don’t think much about it. You take it home, hope that you got all the pesticides and critters washed off, and you eat it. No big deal. Have you ever had a truly fabulous tomato from a store? No. Why? Because they’re force-grown in a giant hothouse, picked green, and shipped before they’re even close to being ready. By the time they get to the store, they’re edible, but they’re just… “ok”. They’ve been “rushed” simply to get to the eatin part. Kinda hard to appreciate that don’t you think?

However, if you have a garden, you till the soil, you plant the seed, you water it, you keep the weeds and pests away, you watch it grow, you nurture it. Finally, when the time comes, the tomato is ready. It’s perfectly ripe for the pickin. You don’t have to worry about pesticides or diseases because you so lovingly took care of it yourself. So, you bite into it. WOW!!! It’s unbelievable how much richer, sweeter, juicier, and bursting with flavor homegrown tomatoes are! You do this and you’ll never buy another one from a store again. You will be a gardener for life. That’s what you’re after right? It takes work, but it’s so worth it in the end.

Just like the tomatoes, you have to give it time to grow. It has to be cultivated. It has to be earned. Respected. So, stop buying it at the store and grow your own!

Hugs,

xxxxxx

P.S. I actually DO grow my own veggies and melons. It’s amazing how much better they taste out of your own garden. It’s like flavor explosions compared to store bought.”

This Post Has Absolutely No Point or Cute Photos to Look At. Don’t Even Bother.

Ha! I wrote the title after finishing this next little bit. And yeah, there is a point to it, it’s just that it’s pretty much only for me.

Insomnia’s got me down again. Cannot sleep. My brain is half working.

Oh I know, let’s do a blog post!

But not a video blog. It’s 12:45 A.M. and I probably look like the Crypt Keeper, except less skinny and with glasses.

Post about what? I don’t know. The important thing is we, and by “we” I mean “I”, post- it’s been waaaay too long since the last one. Blogs must be updated and this is the way of things. Who knows how long this little particular gem of a mind flood will actually stay up on the site but- according to my page views- someone is reading and if not and wordpress is just totally lying to me, it’s still good for me to blog. it. OUT.

What the f are we-and-by-we-I-mean-me writing about again? Oh man. Where do I start (“uh oh. ’bout to get a little livejournal-y up in here!”) I’m in kind of a weird place. Period of adjustment. Transition. My chakras are perhaps not spinning in alignment.

Shut up. You know I don’t speak esoterica. Just seeing if you’re paying attention.

But anyway. I guess that’s what creative surges do. They kind of knock me over. I’m doing some pretty crazy scene work right now for class, outlined a screenplay (really), ideas for videos are swirling in my brain, I’m writing song lyrics to collaborate on a couple recordings over the holidays, and I have video blogs on the way (“Yes! the ones where she LOOKS at me!” “settle down boys, settle down…”). It’s all too much.

I’m overwhelmed.

And yet.

I’m underwhelmed.

That’s the part that bugs me.

 Because at the end of the day- it’s just ideas. And I expect to see it all add up to something great and- mean something and- I don’t see that. I see now that instead of one toothpick I have like- 200- but it’s just like I have more things I still can’t seem to utilize.

Like, things are the same, just with more stuff.

Does that make sense?

Of course not.

I’m just hoping that somehow I just have poor vision, and this is all ultimately building up to- I don’t know. What the f do you make out of toothpicks? A toothpick house? I guess.

But you see?

Even if it is something greater, what’s the greater good for?

And if you tell me just to enjoy it and stop wondering what it means I just start to think, “Well what am I enjoying it for?”

I’m pretty confident that this is pretty normal stuff to reflect on. Most do at one point or another.

I was just thinking, if I was a different woman in a different time in a different place, this would be the perfect time for me to find the Jesus.

But I’m IWJS. I am a liberal living in the melting pot that never melted/center of the universe who sees many discrepancies in religious teachings and practices…and so the consolation of a Sunday drive in my pristine white vee-hicle on the Highway to Heaven isn’t looking too likely for me. “My coping mechanisms, based in subjective doctrine, are absolute truth.” – how the heck can I reconcile this statement with my collective experiences?

I can’t.

And so. No easy way out.  Just me not knowing what all- this- is for.

All I know is….I’ve worn me out some so that I can rest so that I can wake up, and continue to ponder.

Also I got a really cute dress for New Year’s and I’m learning how to make glögg and Santa Claus and hugs and let’s forget all the weirdo things I just said!

Sigh. I have very mixed feelings about whoever knocked out a lens from my rose-colored glasses.

LOLFreedom! ‘08!

Freedom ‘08 was made by a couple of people who were tired of yelling at the nightly news on their tv and thought it would be good to digress into a more fun avenue of personal expression for a bit. And then they thought it would be neat to do a plebeian (cinema verite?) version of their favorite video ever, Freedom ‘90. 
They had no professional equipment, lighting, training, crew or supermodels- really, no budget- at their disposal.
Also they knew that the naysayers might scoff at it.
They decided to make it anyway.
And so, with a handful of good-lookin’ friends from the outer boroughs, a few lights, the lucky discovery of a brilliant editor, and a handheld cam affectionately dubbed “The Party Favor”, they did.
What started as a silly lark, a LOL-fest stemming from fascination of the Holy Trinity of Naomi/Cindy/Christy, became something more- although what that “more” is, is up for interpretation. However, we suspect that the current state of affairs is something of an influence.
(Although, it’s still hi-larious. After all, it has not one, but two pinatas in it, to start).
Speaking of Holy Trinities, we certainly hope that the one of George/David/Mike will not take the video as an affront. Rather, we hope they will consider this perhaps less than technically astounding effort a humble grassroots tribute, one with alot of heart at that. No profit here at all, just a labor of love sprung from the collaborative effort of a few young people battling disillusionment and blowing off some steam with a bit of fun artistic expression.
In uncertain times, that’s one good thing that we’ve got.

Get On The Bus!

quick blurb: this is kind of last minute, but just wanted to put the word out there… as i’m sure you’ve heard, the word on the street (in the polls really) is that obama’s way ahead after paw-paw’s less than stellar performance tuesday night, and as much as i want to believe he’s sure to win, i am still looking to do what i can to clinch those states that aren’t undoubtedly in the bag. states like- pennsylvania! admittedly it looks pretty good there- obama is leading. but! there’s still mccain’s wild card- 7.4% of undecided voters. with the current standings that’s just enough to where he could theoretically just barely squeeze ahead at the last moment. (of course i’m hoping they only pretend to be undecided so they can be on tv and stuff- while secretly intending to vote for barry- but i wanna be damn sure.)

at the very least, get on the bus will be a great experience! and an opportunity to meet like minded, driven, adventurous people like yourself if anyone wants to go down to somewhere called easton tomorrow, holla in the comments. you can be back in nyc by 6. here are the details.

http://my.barackobama.com/page/event/detail/gs7h5h

I’m Putting It Out In The Universe

Hello, and welcome to I-probably-will-pull-it-in-like-5-hours-post #6. Or something.

Usually, I think I don’t have terribly high expectations of other people. Why? Oh, well, that’s for another day and can’t be summed up all that neatly. But anyway, the point is I don’t. Normally.

So what’s different about today? I don’t know. Some rescrambling in the matrix/cosmos?

Because today, I actually have this feeling that there’s going to be some shift in what comes back. Prior to this, nothing. And so, I had essentially no expectations. But today, I believe more of what I’ve put out there, my strength, my perception, my open heart, my bravery- today I believe that will actually be received, appreciated, and returned.

Meaning, I have faith that someone- even though in the past it has always been a lack of recognition, response, communication, and effort- will turn.

Today I believe I will be seen for the great woman I am- despite the flaws. Lots of them. That I’m pretty honest about.

I know I’m probably not making much sense, I know this is very journaly, I know this isn’t doing much for the audience.

But today, I think I have to be just a little self-indulgent, and put this out there in the universe- because it’s been running through me like a current all morning, and I had to express it somewhere.

I look forward to what today brings.

My First Video Blog

Well, I certainly hope you enjoy it ’cause it was a real bitch to put up. Just kidding. Like it or don’t like it- but do watch it to the end. Even though it is way, way too long.

BINGO!

Watching the debates tonight. I hear Biden’s been practicing “laid back” the last few days, so I’m not worried about that part.

I worry about the other side.

So- Tin Foil Hat Going Back On.

Also playing Palin Bingo for fun.